Euphemism normally drys the natural juice (bitter or sweet) of any action or expression like the above caption. I meant to say Nigeria Breweries test was totally fucked without a rubber. Anybody who tested it would probably call this a despicable understatement. Oh wait, this is Niaija Breweries we are talking about here. Well what the LIQOUR do you expect when drunk men and women organize an aptitude test. Obviously the line; 'Drink Responsibly' exist only in the advert world if not, the test would have been very orderly and organized responsibly. Their plan and execution didn't drink responsibly.
The first untimely drunk act was the very unreasonably short notification time. That Heineken guy's email and NBplc text messages arrived rather too late leaving many with no room to plan or prepare. The time on my invitation letter was 12:30am, is that midmorning, midnight or midday? OK I'm just curious was it INEFFICIENCY or was it an ultimate star ploy to cut down the number of expected invitees? I mean I don't understand. A week's notice is most ideal and not a less than 20 hours notice.
Again time wasn't of any minuscule import to the organizers. There were four sets for the test depending on test time i.e 8:30am, 10:30am, 12:30pm and 2:30pm. By 1:45pm the invitees billed for 10:30am were still being barbequed unapologetically under the hellish sun in the rubbish name of accreditation. One of my friends got pissed up with the whole thing and abandoned the test. By the time the 10:30am group finshed, a low scale chaos was the religion in practise outside the hall. Getting inside the hall became a survival of the featest thing and no longer based on your test time. So when it was time to get in, we KICKED, PULLED, PUSHED and SQUEEZED our way in nearly suffocated. The hall got filled fast yet a rather large population was left outside. The test started around 3:30pm and over in the next 60 minutes. Don't know when the last batch finished, only God Knows.
The most drunk act was the idea of inviting the whole of the unemployed graduate in Naija for aptitude test to one cubicle or venue. As far as the population of invitees is concerned the venue is a cubicle.
The size of the hall is the least of concerns of the invitees. Can you imagine the stress of planning within such extremely short notice, cost of transportation and the immeasurable RISK of travelling from all parts of Naija. One or two candidates even came from Ghana. Can you IMAGINE THAT! If you put a financial evaluation to the travelling risk believe me it worth more than 50 Nigeria Breweries put together.
A clear headed arrangement should have been to put 6 venues in the 6 geopolitical zones or at the very least if mild push comes to murderous shove 2 venues. Enugu housing the largest factory keeps one then Lagos keeps the other. Their clinical insensitivity to the plight of the invitees is highly commendable in the hottest, deepest and darkest quarters of hell. I know they'll say 'WE DIDN'T FORCE ANYBODY TO COME IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T MAKE IT YOU HAD BETTER STAYED IN YOUR HOUSE'. I must say in my own opinion that THE WHOLE THING WAS HANDLED IN A PROFESSIONALLY UNPROFESSIONAL MANNER.
Maybe I should blame unemployment or something else.
Anyway the only good part was that it took place on a Saturday so some people didn't have to invent excuses for their boss or sneak out of their current office because of one aptitude test.Despite all the venom I can't help but pour out here, I got stuck to my phone and email box waiting to be called for an interview but it never happened. Truth be told. Peace out FOLKS.
1 comment:
I like to let you know belatedly that the call never came through.
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